next year

the broncos have let me down again. we still have chance to make it to the play offs but we would have to make the wild card. :( and we had such an awesome start. oh well.... maybe next year?

~Jet~

if you only knew.... me

Test my friendship, I will not leave your side. Push me away, I will come back fighting for you stronger than ever.

I want to be here for you. I want you to see that.... see the type of person that I am. I am here to listen to you.... use me and throw me overboard like the jettison that I am. Jettison is the nickname I give myself. So often people come in and out of our lives. Although I do have friends that I have known all my life... most of the people that I know now I did not know 5 years ago. And I have my doubts that I will still know them 5 years from now.

I have come to accept the fact that people "lose touch." It just happens... it is never planned. Life just gets busy and before you know it... the weeks become years.

So... for this moment in time that I do know you.... let me help. Let me be the one to carry you when you fall. Let me to the shoulder to cry on. Let me be that friend that you can count on... the one you can call in the middle of the night.

Most people will never take the time to understand me and listen to the story of my life. But I am telling you that I AM HERE!! I want to hear your story.... if you want to tell me it.

~Jet~

can you meet me halfway - i cant go any further then this

I was listening to this song today... I guess it is by the Black Eyed Peas. It's called "meet me halfway." It think it is about someone in a relationship just wanting the other person to put in some effort into the relationship to make it work.


When I was listening to this song.... the first person I thought about was my cousin. I want to so bad just scream to her "CAN YOU MEET ME HALFWAY?"

I flew more than halfway and she can't find the time to drive out to see me. Seriously?? We were so close growing up she was more like a sister to me instead of a cousin. She is mad at me for not visiting her mom on Sunday... at least I think that is why. Really? I get lost in Kansas and she expects me to find my way around out here. Mapquest can't even help me here. There are far too many freeways and one way streets.

I know how to get to the valley and I know my way around the valley... but other than that I am like a deer in headlights. I have decided that I am done driving to people for this trip. If anyone wants to see me they can drive here to my sister's house. If my cousin wants to be mad at me so be it. My sister has not moved so she should know how to drive out here.

My plans for the remainder of my trip? Tomorrow... Universal Studios. Wednesday I am not sure but I kinda want to see the ocean. So I was thinking of just driving out there by myself I guess. And then later that day I have dinner with my brother's in-laws.. that should be awkward and nice all at the same time. Thursday I am suppose to spend the day with my sister... but she is not sure if she will have the day off after all... so I might do another solo adventure. And Friday I pack and leave.

I hope to buy most of my souvenirs for my friends tomorrow.

~Jet~

thomas the train is fun!!

I am not sure what this blog is about really. It's been a while since I have been on vacation. haha, I am still on vacation actually... til Friday.

But, it feels like it has been forever.... so why not blog. Umm... people have already been asking me what I have done since I have been out here. I suppose they expect me to say that I went on this big adventure or something. But when I say to them that I spent the whole day playing Thomas the Train with my nephew.... they look at me like I am crazy.

Yes, I took off 2 weeks of work and flew out here to play with my nephew or go shopping with my nieces'.... or go to the movies with my sister... drink with my brother. People really just have no idea how much I missed my family. I mean its hard not feeling like you are a part of their lives. It hurts when your nephew doesn't remember you from the last time you saw him. Doing everyday things right now means the world to me because I am doing them with my family. And I know its gonna be hard this time around to say goodbye. But I will see them again this coming June for my niece's graduation... ... ....

I feel old now. haha. I turn 25 in Dec. I never thought I would be this old and still not know who I am. Shoot, I don't even know where I am going to be living next year:( Ok.... I am gonna try not to think about it right now.... I am still on vacation. I'll post again soon.

~Jet~

Calliope - Muse of Epic Poetry

This Halloween my friend Saby and I are each going to be one of the 9 muses. My choice is Calliope.

I find my choice ironic since I no longer write poetry. And none of my poems have ever been close to "epic." But when I was 16 I wanted to be a writer.... a poet, and that was really the only muse that I seemed to relate to. So my Calliope in my head is a white dress... green hair & make-up, a leaf halo, a green sash, and a notebook & pen. This is the first costume that I have ever had to put together so it has been nerve recking. I'll try to remember to post pictures of how it all turns out.

It is sad to think back about the passion I had for writing... and how I just let it go. I gave up on writing because I was scared. I am someone who writes from the heart... so putting my heart out there for everyone to read was terrifying for me. I didn't want people judging me and lowering my self-esteem any more than where it is at. So my plan was to go into accounting and continue to write on the side.... but for my eyes only.

The problem is that... I have not been able to write anything really since I moved to Lawrence.

I have been trying to write a book.... but for some reason I can't seem to get the 1st chapter the way I want it. My preface is perfect.... and I fear that that's the only thing I will ever finish of it:(

"See, I refuse to believe that my life's gonna be just some string of incompletes."
- John Mayer

It is funny when you have everything you want to say in your head.... but it just doesn't seem to come out right on paper. And I use to be so good with words....

"Just say what you need to say"
- John Mayer

I wish it was that easy John. *sighs*

~Jet~

my temporary solution

The stress of my trip has started to hit me now. I am excited. And I should be off the wall happy. But I am not. I am wondering how long it will take me to pay off the "cost" of my trip. I have decided that when I come back.... instead of looking for that accounting job... I will be focused on getting a part time job. 2 jobs.... hmmm, not sure if I will be able to handle it... but I guess we will see.

I currently have no savings and I live paycheck to paycheck. So... I know I have to do something, if I am going to be out of debt by June. And I would like to have some savings.... you know in case something happens. Yeah.

So, that is my plan.... my solution, since I have been striking out with the whole accounting thing. I feel like I just wasted my time getting a degree, just because of the simple fact that I have not used it yet. Psh, I should have been a teacher or a writer.... nope, I had to go with accounting. *Rolls eyes at self* I am not happy with where my life is right now and I honestly don't know how to fix it. <= There are other things that make me say this statement aside from my job and finances.

But, hahaha... I am not going to get into my non-exitist love life with you guys.

Saby.... since I know you read this.... we are just going to have fun while I am out there. I will try to worry about everything else later. We will just have fun!!! Don't let me thing about these things while I am out there, okay?

~Jet~

3-0

thehe! woohoo!! My Broncos are 3-0 right now and I am lovin' it!!! I'm hopeful that the rest of the season will be just as good. But, for now I am just looking for a good week.

I have less than a month til I will be out in Cali! Oct 24 - Nov 5, oh yeah!!! Two weeks.... and it still won't be long enough to see everyone. Can't wait!!!

~Jet~

i think i won the battle... for now.

My battle against the spiders by my front entrance may be over. After days and days of knocking down spider webs... low and behold the past 2 days there have been no spider webs, woohoo!!! What is even better is that there are no spiders either. This is like a dream come true... no joke. I am able to enter my apt without being scared of a spider coming down and bitting me. Or a spider coming into my apt. I am going to enjoy this short period with no spiders while it lasts.

At last I can sleep in peace, haha.

~Jet~

wanna hear me sing.... no really you don't haha.

I have been singing on myspace karaoke. And well, I figure if anyone got bored they could just check it out. It's all in good fun; I know I can't sing. But haha, I know how to laugh at myself. And I do have the guts to record my non talent. Sorry for your ears if you do listen!! later ~Jet~

one down!

My Broncos won their first game today!! Woohoo. I am so happy!!! thehe. Still don't think that they will do very well this season... but one can only hope. I am keeping my fingers crossed!!

Next week I am going to the Chief v Radiers game.... can't wait to see the that.

Thats all for now.

~Jet~

and so it begins...

It is the month of Sept. Today starts my no facebook for a month. haha, I bet my friend Bobbi that I could go without facebook for a month. I'm not exactly sure why we actually made the bet. I get nothing out of it... but I think I just wanted to prove to her... maybe prove to myself that I could do it. It will be easy... I think. The thing that is gonna suck is going back on in Oct. I am going to have tons of pictures to upload. blah, totally not looking forward to that. Now I that I will have more time on my hands... hmmm, what to do, what to do?

I think I will be spending most of my free time working on my book. I hope to get a lot done.... mainly I really just want to finish the first chapter. Okay, well.... I'm off ~Jet~

the reason this exists...

So... I guess I am a blogger now. Hmmm. I made this account really to just comment to other blogs. Mainly the guys at work have this whole would you rather thing that they are doing and it seemed kinda fun. I wanted to join in on the fun.... so yeah, here I am. But... who knows I might just use it, for what? Well, I'm not sure yet. I guess you will just have to keep checking back to see!!

ttfn!

~Jet~