wow.

wow, it's been forever.

I don't even know where to start.

Well, for starters living with Jerry Jay, Ronell, and Diana turned out to be a good experience. I really feel like I ended up with two more friends. This year, I did not move in with my parents.. I actually decided to live with my good friend Rio. I am hoping that I will be in this place for at least 2 years... but we will see. You know things never go as they are planned. I'm just really tired of moving every year. And so far Rio and I get along very well.

My family is doing well. My dad has decided to retire early. He was been unable to find another job since last Nov.

I have gotten 2 calls for accounting jobs in the last couple of days. This is really encouraging... even if I don't get the jobs. It is still giving me hope, that my day will soon come:)

As far as my love life.... haha, I'm still living the single life. I have been talking to this guy though for almost 2 months:D But he lives out of state.... so not sure where this is all going.

A lot has changed. I lost my best friend of 7 years. Jay. I miss him. Along with him... I lost Adam & Ryan. Jay and I were going down different paths. We started having the same fight, over and over, and it was just time. Our friendship wasn't fun anymore. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. People change a lot in 7 years. I use to let people walk over me... and now I stand up for myself... I speak up. And if people are not willing to say sorry when they have hurt you.... there is no point for them to be in your life. So, I just let go.

I did my first 5k this year. It was amazing just to finish!! I've lost 25 pounds this year. Wow. I'm happy with where my life is. And I'm excited to see where its heading!!

ttyl

~Jet~

speechless

My dad lost his job that he just got.

I don't know what to say. But, I will do anything to make sure that my parents are able to save their house.

Above my own needs my family will always come first. I have a lot of thinking to do.

God is good.

God is good.

After 1 1/2 year of my dad being unemployed he has finally found a job. I'm not sure why but this has inspired me to keep striving and pushing myself into finding that accounting job.

I had never lost hope.... I had just become tired of applying for jobs. But, I just have to keep applying... because I never know when I'll find the one company that is willing to give me a chance.

gotta find a way to forgive.

Sometimes I wonder if people would notice if I weren't around anymore.

My birthday is next month. I wonder if any of my friends will put aside there differences to be there for me. 26. And I still don't know what I'm suppose to be doing with my life. I feel like there is more I should be doing... but I don't know how to find any type of direction.

The one church I felt like I belonged out here I quit going to because I have been avoiding someone who hurt me very much. I avoid places I think he'll be because I have yet been able to forgive him.

This grudge that I hold... its not healthy. But, I don't know how to look past the pain. I have less than a year to push myself to forgive him.

I plan on moving back with my parents next summer. I feel like this will give me a chance to get my life back in order. I am willing to stick around if I have reason to. But right now I have no reason to.

My true friends will remain my friends no matter where I am. So, I am not worried about losing people in my live. I feel like this will just give us a chance to make our friendships that much stronger.

~ Jet ~

stuck in the friend zone

I have been recently talking to this guy.

We have just been hanging out and getting to know each other. I refuse to get stuck in the friend zone again. Time and time again.... this always happens to me. And I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. They say that the best relationships start off as just friends... but yet when I make a friend, they end up seeing me as a little sister or a motherly figure.

This guy.... I don't want him to see me like that. My roommates have been trying to give me advice... but I know in the end all I can do is just be myself.

My feelings are often one sided. And I have a feeling that it is that way again. But, we will see how it plays out.

I have my whole life to find the guy I was made for. Time will only tell if he is the one.

journey to self.

i recently went on a road trip.

this was my first ever road trip by myself. at first i thought it was all about the guy who i was meeting at the end of the trip. but then i realized this trip was all about me.

this trip really helped me realize how strong of a person i am. i had never dreamed that i had the courage to travel 700 miles... and by myself. all my life i have been scared... of everything. i vow now to myself to push myself to stop being scared. i vow to put my life in God's hands and to trust him.

i feel like i really found myself while i was on this trip and now that i am back home... i don't want to lose myself again.

it's been a while...

Wow, much has changed since April. Andrew, my beloved ex roommate did get the job in Phoenix. But, you know what I figured out? I now have a place to stay in Phoenix if I ever decide to visit... which I plan to this coming spring break.

So where am I now? I am still here in Lawrence. I had a friend named Jerry Jay that needed a roommate... and now I have 3 roommates! Diana, Ronnell, and Jerry. And the funny part is that I still feel alone. How can you live with 3 other people and still feel like you have no one to talk to? Seriously... I think something is wrong with me!!

My plan is to move in 2 years. I want to have 2 years to get my debt paid off and have some money in the savings. Where do I plan on moving at the end of my 2 years? Minneapolis!! Of course I will visit the city before I make that the place I offically move but right now thats the place I have my heart set on.

I'll try to write on here more often.

til next time!!

~Jet~